So I continue to lose weight but I am dealing with some health issues right now. I have not fallen off the wagon, in fact I have lost my appetite and find it hard to get in the correct food every day. I am going to the doctor on Monday and hopefully they will figure out what is going on so I can get back on track.
My total weight loss to date is 28.5lbs and I still hope to lose another 15lbs by the middle of April, but I just can't work out right now and boost the weight loss. I did not want you to think I have given up, or that I am hiding anything. I feel more accountable since keeping this blog so I have actually been really good about honesty here.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Day 75 - Feb 20 2012
I missed publishing last week's weigh in, it was a dismal -0.5 for the week. My total was at -24.5lbs. This week I had a loss of 2.5lbs for a total of 27lbs since the beginning of December. I am very happy with this progress. And in fact, I am a bit surprised considering I have slacked on the exercise. My disappointment this week is silly, it is not even about me completely, I saw one of my sisters for the first time since Thanksgiving and she did not seem to notice that I lost over 25lbs. I guess I had been hoping to just hear her say "wow, you are looking so much better" or something like that. But again, I need to learn to stop depending on other people's input for my own happiness.
This week I cheated on my eating, I will admit I ate pizza, frozen custard and cupcakes. It did not even taste very good to be honest. But I did not binge! I only ate 2 very small pieces of pizza (little square pieces and the smallest in the pie) and a small custard when I was out with my parents. The cupcakes were also small and limited to two over a two day period. I actually felt physically sick after eating all of it. The sodium combined with the sugar just made me feel horrible. I was happy to get back on plan!
My goal was to have lost 45lbs by my birthday in the beginning of April. Right now that will not happen unless I kick it into gear again with my exercise. I need to average about 3lbs a week to make this goal, which is completely possible if I get back into a good routine. So this week I am working on getting out the DVDs and getting in at least 30 intense minutes of cardio every day.
I have been under a tremendous amount of stress the last couple of weeks. There are things happening to people I love dearly that are sad, heart breaking really, and I can do nothing to help. I am the typical "fixer" when someone has a problem I do everything in my power to help them. Not being in a position to help those I love is effecting my eating, sleeping and piece of mind. I am working on ways to deal with these issues in a positive way so I can move forward and concentrate on my health again. That is why I did not write last week, I was just not in a good place emotionally.
Have a happy & healthy day!
This week I cheated on my eating, I will admit I ate pizza, frozen custard and cupcakes. It did not even taste very good to be honest. But I did not binge! I only ate 2 very small pieces of pizza (little square pieces and the smallest in the pie) and a small custard when I was out with my parents. The cupcakes were also small and limited to two over a two day period. I actually felt physically sick after eating all of it. The sodium combined with the sugar just made me feel horrible. I was happy to get back on plan!
My goal was to have lost 45lbs by my birthday in the beginning of April. Right now that will not happen unless I kick it into gear again with my exercise. I need to average about 3lbs a week to make this goal, which is completely possible if I get back into a good routine. So this week I am working on getting out the DVDs and getting in at least 30 intense minutes of cardio every day.
I have been under a tremendous amount of stress the last couple of weeks. There are things happening to people I love dearly that are sad, heart breaking really, and I can do nothing to help. I am the typical "fixer" when someone has a problem I do everything in my power to help them. Not being in a position to help those I love is effecting my eating, sleeping and piece of mind. I am working on ways to deal with these issues in a positive way so I can move forward and concentrate on my health again. That is why I did not write last week, I was just not in a good place emotionally.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Day 62 - Feb 7 2012
Weigh in yesterday and I lost another 2.5lbs for a total loss of 24lbs. Happy with this and I think it is a good healthy loss for 2 months. I had hoped to be closer to 30lbs at this point, but I am not going to be down on myself when I have made progress. I feel so much better than I did before I started.
I am feeling a cold coming on, I am concerned that I need to nip it in the bud before it develops into something worse, like an ear infection or bronchitis. I have not been sick in a couple of years and I am just not good at being sick. The worst part is that I am unlikely going to be able to stay on my food plan if I am sick. My plan now is to avoid as much sodium as possible, which means canned soup, and try to eat on schedule even if it is smaller amounts or not as regimented as I typically eat.
Have a happy & healthy day!
I am feeling a cold coming on, I am concerned that I need to nip it in the bud before it develops into something worse, like an ear infection or bronchitis. I have not been sick in a couple of years and I am just not good at being sick. The worst part is that I am unlikely going to be able to stay on my food plan if I am sick. My plan now is to avoid as much sodium as possible, which means canned soup, and try to eat on schedule even if it is smaller amounts or not as regimented as I typically eat.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Day 56 - Feb 1 2012
Official weigh in - I managed to lose 1lb this week, for a total of 21.5lbs lost. I am happy with that. My exercise was lacking this week and my food was okay but not great. I have not been feeling very well and that effects my desire and ability to work out. I hope to get back on track in the next day or so.
I just keep reminding myself that it is a marathon, I need to stay focused on where I am going in the long term. That helps me to not lose faith in what I am doing. So once I am back on track I think I will be fine.
Two of my sisters are also working on losing weight, it is interesting to see how we all approach it differently. My brother is also back to working out and trying to lose a bit of his girth. The last year has been really tough on him emotionally and financially and he has packed on a bit of weight. I worry about him because it is in his middle which is very unhealthy. So anything that gets him healthy makes me happy.
Wish it was better news, but I really think it is important to share honestly that it is not easy, it is not always fun and it does not always go as planned.
Have a happy & healthy day!
I just keep reminding myself that it is a marathon, I need to stay focused on where I am going in the long term. That helps me to not lose faith in what I am doing. So once I am back on track I think I will be fine.
Two of my sisters are also working on losing weight, it is interesting to see how we all approach it differently. My brother is also back to working out and trying to lose a bit of his girth. The last year has been really tough on him emotionally and financially and he has packed on a bit of weight. I worry about him because it is in his middle which is very unhealthy. So anything that gets him healthy makes me happy.
Wish it was better news, but I really think it is important to share honestly that it is not easy, it is not always fun and it does not always go as planned.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Day 47 - Jan 23 2012
Official Weigh in and I dropped another 3lbs!! Making my total weight loss 20.5lbs, a nice number to hit. Making the 20lb mark is always important to me, for some reason it makes me feel more accomplishment when I can say I lost more than 20lbs. Each 10lb mile marker is great from this point, but my next big milestone is now 24lbs away.
I had a pretty good week, I did my bootcamp and yoga DVDs alternating days all week and kept to my eating plan. I went to my parents for the game and had diet caffeine free Pepsi as a "treat" and honestly if just does not taste that good anymore. But it made me feel like I was having something "special". Left the bottle at my parents so it will be there for the Superbowl and I won't drink it at home.
I am planning to make chocolate meringues this week, not sure what day yet. I loved the lemon ones I made a couple of weeks ago and it really helped having something sweet that I could eat and not feel like I was "ruining" my diet.
Have a happy & healthy day!
I had a pretty good week, I did my bootcamp and yoga DVDs alternating days all week and kept to my eating plan. I went to my parents for the game and had diet caffeine free Pepsi as a "treat" and honestly if just does not taste that good anymore. But it made me feel like I was having something "special". Left the bottle at my parents so it will be there for the Superbowl and I won't drink it at home.
I am planning to make chocolate meringues this week, not sure what day yet. I loved the lemon ones I made a couple of weeks ago and it really helped having something sweet that I could eat and not feel like I was "ruining" my diet.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Day 42 - Jan 18 2012
Going strong with my yoga and boot camp. I have been alternating them each day, soon I will have to double up on some days. I am feeling better again and think that I am about ready for the double workouts.
Feels good to be back on track. Plus, I am remembering not only how good I feel physically when I work out regularly, but how much better I feel about myself.
Hoping to have good numbers this week.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Feels good to be back on track. Plus, I am remembering not only how good I feel physically when I work out regularly, but how much better I feel about myself.
Hoping to have good numbers this week.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Day 40 - Jan 16 2012
Official weigh in: -1.5 lbs for the week, total -17.5lbs in 40 days. Feels good to be back on track, the week started rough but I ended on point with my diet and exercise. I hope to ramp up the weight loss for the next few weeks. It felt good to not only start doing my yoga again but to add in the Boot Camp DVD. It was hard but felt good to be working out this way.
There was a time about 10 years ago when I lost 85lbs and was very healthy. I kick-boxed 3-4 times a week, rode my bike 5-7 miles a few times a week and was very active. I kept that up for over 5 years and I regret that I let life get in the way of being healthy. So I am back on track and looking forward to doing those things again.
I like to give myself little rewards for hitting certain milestones, I have 28lbs left and I hit a big one, I will have lost 50lbs at that point and I plan to reward myself with a reflexology session at a local day spa. It may take me until my birthday, but I plan to hit that milestone.
Have a happy & healthy day!
There was a time about 10 years ago when I lost 85lbs and was very healthy. I kick-boxed 3-4 times a week, rode my bike 5-7 miles a few times a week and was very active. I kept that up for over 5 years and I regret that I let life get in the way of being healthy. So I am back on track and looking forward to doing those things again.
I like to give myself little rewards for hitting certain milestones, I have 28lbs left and I hit a big one, I will have lost 50lbs at that point and I plan to reward myself with a reflexology session at a local day spa. It may take me until my birthday, but I plan to hit that milestone.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Day 37 - Jan 13 2012
Stopped whining and started moving. I went for a walk with my girl and the dogs the other day but I was stupid and wore my comfy fluffy clogs instead of sneakers. Result, warm feet with blisters on the soles, not good. Took me a couple of days to get comfortable walking again. Then today I just said this is enough, get up and move. So I took out my small step (I have the set from The Firm from many, many moons ago) and just started moving. I did steps, I walked in circles, I did lunges, I shuffled, I did knee raises, just kept my body moving. I did not feel I was getting enough of a burn so I got out some 1lb weights and put some arms into it. It can be amazing the difference adding just 1lb weights make. I started sweating and knew it was good.
So my diet is on track, I have never stopped with drinking my water (so important) and now I have started moving again. Really this is what I have to remember, it is not hard to simply walk while watching TV or to do the stepper or simply get my body moving.
I feel better about myself, but I know I won't be happy until I get my routine on track again completely. Kids will both be back in school next week and I have given myself until Tuesday to get it together and get my routine working. No excuses!
Have a happy & healthy day!
So my diet is on track, I have never stopped with drinking my water (so important) and now I have started moving again. Really this is what I have to remember, it is not hard to simply walk while watching TV or to do the stepper or simply get my body moving.
I feel better about myself, but I know I won't be happy until I get my routine on track again completely. Kids will both be back in school next week and I have given myself until Tuesday to get it together and get my routine working. No excuses!
Have a happy & healthy day!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Day 34 - Jan 10 2012
Official Weigh in - +0.5lbs net loss of 16lbs - not great but could have been a heck of a lot worse. So I am focusing on my nutrition and adding my yoga back in. My goal is to get yoga in every day and add a bootcamp every other day. I need to get the exercise going it makes a huge difference in how I feel mentally as well as physically. I think once that is back on track I will feel less of the cravings.
So I am still going, not strong right now but still on track.
Have a happy & healthy day!
So I am still going, not strong right now but still on track.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Day 31 - Jan 7 2012
Struggling, struggling but staying as much on course as possible. It has been hard the last week, I have been craving things that I don't want to eat. To pass up on these cravings I have substituted as much as possible healthier choices, an apple, popcorn or even a small piece of chocolate (no woman should ever be expected to live without chocolate). But I still feel like I am failing some days. I know I am not, I know I am still moving forward and that this journey was never meant to be easy. If losing the weight were easy, I would never have gained it all back.
So I have been trying to think about what has brought about the struggle. And it is weird, some of it is obvious, stress about work, kids, life in general. But some of it is my own personal demons and again it is hard to understand sometimes. Why is it that a call from my dad telling me he is proud of the weight I have lost makes me feel like a failure? Maybe that is something other people just can't understand, even I struggle to understand why I feel this way. But I really spent the time to try and understand, one thing I have learned is that I have to understand what causes me to crave for and reach for food for comfort. And I know that even though he means well, and I know he means every word and is wanting to encourage me, it makes me feel like I have failed him by letting myself get to this point. I hate knowing that they worry about me, they don't need to worry about me at this time in their lives, they should be enjoying themselves.
So I understand that issue, now I have to move forward. I think really, the only way I will feel better is to actually make myself proud. I don't find losing 16+ pounds that successful when I have another 50 to lose. I have done this before in the last year where I lose 20lbs then seem to just lose focus and put it back on, and more. So I am trying to just work through this place and this feeling to keep moving forward with my journey.
I struggle a lot with control issues and sharing my feelings with people. This also is a large part of my problems and what has brought me back to a place I never wanted to be weight and health wise. So I decided I need to be more open with myself and share these feelings good or bad with other people to prove to myself that it is okay to struggle, it is okay to have hard times, but I need to always stay focused on my long term health.
So this week was tough, my son continues to make choices that I think are destructive and that go against so much of what I believe in and nothing seems to change that. I worry about him and the choices I am going to have to make in the next few months about how to deal with him. It is hard to focus on my own health when I worry so much about him.
And now my sleep pattern has been all messed up, I have not slept well this week due to the stress and it all came to a head last night. My mother suffers from occasional attacks of vertigo that are so severe she has to go to the hospital for fluids and special anti-nausea medicine. Last night we got a call from my dad that she had a bad attack while they were leading their dance class. The kids and I went over (luckily it is about 15 minutes from us) and we helped pack them up and get her into the car. My daughter and I then brought my dad food in the hospital for while he was waiting so he would not get a migraine and end up as sick as she was. We did not get home until after 1AM and the dogs were all riled up from being left alone. It took well over an hour to get them relaxed enough to sleep, but by then it was just not possible for me to get the rest I need.
So this morning was rough, trying to sleep while getting the dogs run and fed and then settled back down just does not happen easily. And it is not their fault, they don't know any better they only know it is sunny and warm and they need to pee and run around. So I adjusted my food a bit to make up for a missed meal. Worst part is that between the stress, lack of sleep and weird eating I have a migraine I can feel coming on so I had to take some medicine to head it off. Now I think an afternoon nap may help for today.
I hope to just maintain my weight loss for this week, I really have no hope of losing weight with all that went on, but I hope that I at least have maintained and next week I can get back on track.
See, I told you I would not post every day, but when I vent it will all come out. I think it is only fair to share the struggles and the successes, this is real life, nothing is easy and I think the only way to truly inspire people is to share both.
Have a happy & healthy day!
So I have been trying to think about what has brought about the struggle. And it is weird, some of it is obvious, stress about work, kids, life in general. But some of it is my own personal demons and again it is hard to understand sometimes. Why is it that a call from my dad telling me he is proud of the weight I have lost makes me feel like a failure? Maybe that is something other people just can't understand, even I struggle to understand why I feel this way. But I really spent the time to try and understand, one thing I have learned is that I have to understand what causes me to crave for and reach for food for comfort. And I know that even though he means well, and I know he means every word and is wanting to encourage me, it makes me feel like I have failed him by letting myself get to this point. I hate knowing that they worry about me, they don't need to worry about me at this time in their lives, they should be enjoying themselves.
So I understand that issue, now I have to move forward. I think really, the only way I will feel better is to actually make myself proud. I don't find losing 16+ pounds that successful when I have another 50 to lose. I have done this before in the last year where I lose 20lbs then seem to just lose focus and put it back on, and more. So I am trying to just work through this place and this feeling to keep moving forward with my journey.
I struggle a lot with control issues and sharing my feelings with people. This also is a large part of my problems and what has brought me back to a place I never wanted to be weight and health wise. So I decided I need to be more open with myself and share these feelings good or bad with other people to prove to myself that it is okay to struggle, it is okay to have hard times, but I need to always stay focused on my long term health.
So this week was tough, my son continues to make choices that I think are destructive and that go against so much of what I believe in and nothing seems to change that. I worry about him and the choices I am going to have to make in the next few months about how to deal with him. It is hard to focus on my own health when I worry so much about him.
And now my sleep pattern has been all messed up, I have not slept well this week due to the stress and it all came to a head last night. My mother suffers from occasional attacks of vertigo that are so severe she has to go to the hospital for fluids and special anti-nausea medicine. Last night we got a call from my dad that she had a bad attack while they were leading their dance class. The kids and I went over (luckily it is about 15 minutes from us) and we helped pack them up and get her into the car. My daughter and I then brought my dad food in the hospital for while he was waiting so he would not get a migraine and end up as sick as she was. We did not get home until after 1AM and the dogs were all riled up from being left alone. It took well over an hour to get them relaxed enough to sleep, but by then it was just not possible for me to get the rest I need.
So this morning was rough, trying to sleep while getting the dogs run and fed and then settled back down just does not happen easily. And it is not their fault, they don't know any better they only know it is sunny and warm and they need to pee and run around. So I adjusted my food a bit to make up for a missed meal. Worst part is that between the stress, lack of sleep and weird eating I have a migraine I can feel coming on so I had to take some medicine to head it off. Now I think an afternoon nap may help for today.
I hope to just maintain my weight loss for this week, I really have no hope of losing weight with all that went on, but I hope that I at least have maintained and next week I can get back on track.
See, I told you I would not post every day, but when I vent it will all come out. I think it is only fair to share the struggles and the successes, this is real life, nothing is easy and I think the only way to truly inspire people is to share both.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Day 26 - Jan 2 2012
Official weigh in - lost 2lbs for the week for a total of 16.5lbs total, not to shabby...if I can get my butt in gear and get moving the numbers will get better...but I think I would be happy with 10lbs a month right now. It is a marathon not a sprint to a healthy lifestyle. I have to remember that each day is another in a lifelong struggle with my weight.
Have a happy & healthy day!
Have a happy & healthy day!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Day 25 - Jan 1 2012
It is a new year, and it has been a tough week. That said I think I will be fine with my weigh in tomorrow morning. It may not be a huge loss but right now I don't anticipate a gain. I have been partaking in some chocolate the last couple of days, but just a bit here and there. Honestly, I try to fill the cravings with water or turning my attention to other things, but sometimes I need to just have a little bit. I have been following a very, very low calorie diet so even with the few pieces I have had I am well within my optimum intake for the day. And I think at this point in my journey, a bit extra helps my metabolism to burn a bit better. That said, I am not eating triple chocolate fudge ice cream with whip cream or potato chips with ranch dip. I had a bowl of popcorn last night (which I could not finish) and a couple of pieces of a milk chocolate orange.
My girl and I took the dogs out walking which got me a bit of cardio. But tomorrow it is back to my yoga and this week I have to get moving on the boot camp DVD. I need to not only maintain where I am but keep moving forward.
My boy was stressing me last night, picking fights with his sister, acting like a general jerk to both of us. It made me feel more of an urge to eat, which he truly does not understand. I know my weaknesses and I know that incredible stress or emotional upheaval sends me straight to the salty/sweet stuff. So I took a deep breath and simply left the room. My girl is not much better, she lets him push her buttons and escalates the entire situation. One day I truly hope they can learn to simply joke around with each other again and be friendly. But right now I simply can not let their inability to get along sabotage my health and well being.
I am not making New Year's resolutions, I am in the group that believes they are simply too easy to break. January first is not a magic day, it does not give you a clean slate, you have to have the right mindset and the mental and emotional ability to make a change. I made the conscious choice in early December not to wait until after the Holidays, not to wait for the New Year, I made my change then because it was the right time for me.
I see this blog as my accountability not just to myself (although it is for me) but to my friends and family. And I think I have reached a point where I am strong enough to make entries every few days, or maybe weekly depending on how things are going. It will depend on whether there are things going on in my life affecting my progress good or bad that I think need to be shared. Well, we will see how things go tomorrow with the weigh in...
Have a happy & healthy day!
My girl and I took the dogs out walking which got me a bit of cardio. But tomorrow it is back to my yoga and this week I have to get moving on the boot camp DVD. I need to not only maintain where I am but keep moving forward.
My boy was stressing me last night, picking fights with his sister, acting like a general jerk to both of us. It made me feel more of an urge to eat, which he truly does not understand. I know my weaknesses and I know that incredible stress or emotional upheaval sends me straight to the salty/sweet stuff. So I took a deep breath and simply left the room. My girl is not much better, she lets him push her buttons and escalates the entire situation. One day I truly hope they can learn to simply joke around with each other again and be friendly. But right now I simply can not let their inability to get along sabotage my health and well being.
I am not making New Year's resolutions, I am in the group that believes they are simply too easy to break. January first is not a magic day, it does not give you a clean slate, you have to have the right mindset and the mental and emotional ability to make a change. I made the conscious choice in early December not to wait until after the Holidays, not to wait for the New Year, I made my change then because it was the right time for me.
I see this blog as my accountability not just to myself (although it is for me) but to my friends and family. And I think I have reached a point where I am strong enough to make entries every few days, or maybe weekly depending on how things are going. It will depend on whether there are things going on in my life affecting my progress good or bad that I think need to be shared. Well, we will see how things go tomorrow with the weigh in...
Have a happy & healthy day!
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